Photo © Trinidad Daily Express/Latrine Eradication Program Begins in Port-of-Spain.
Triniglish|Trinididioms spoken and explained #109; Yuh is ah Trini | "Potty Trouble, A Latrine Tale" I had some spare time and put together this story... I may have to come back and do some changes to it but it will suffice for the time being. I do hope it brings back some memories from your childhood days on the islands. If you can add to the story then leave a comment and I will adjust the story.
There was a time, not too long ago, when the only resource to relieve oneself was the good ole latrine. Every property had one. The latrine was a unique place that had very special meaning to many people. However, some things remained the same for most of us who lived during that period. One notable thing was that the latrine was always at the back of the home owner's property. In some instances, there would be a mango tree or plum tree close by or for those with used and covered latrines, a nice fig (bananas) stool that blossomed and brought forth the best bananas you ever had!
Well, this little post has to do with a short conversation I overheard recently. My sister was visiting from Texas and she and my mother-in-law were talking about how things have changed and how much they have not changed back home (Trinidad). I overheard them talking about the good ole latrine and something that was so true but I just did not pay much attention to... but it makes for a good story and something that most of us could relate to in many ways.
The fact that the latrine was at the back of the lot (and out of the way) was not a big deal especially during the day but at night if you had to go to the latrine that was a different ordeal by itself. There were many things to consider and the frequent stories about douens, ladjablesse and soucouyants and the famous jumbies did not help. Most people, during that period, did not have electricity in their homes, and those who did never thought about putting an electrical outlet in the potty pool. Now if you had to go at night one always needed someone to go with you... to stand guard to make you feel safe.
This was only the beginning of a troublesome evening. Now, if you were fortunate or as in this case of "potty trouble" unfortunate to have younger siblings (especially brothers) then this will become clearer as we proceed with the story. Here we are you are desperate to get to the latrine, it is late at night and you are scared as hell to go out to the back of the yard to get into the latrine. Finally, you coax someone to accompany you, the flambeaux are lit or you are armed with a candle or a small lamp, or if you are very lucky a 'torch light' (flashlight). You finally make it to the 'out house' and get inside... the smell smacks you in the face and you hesitantly open the wooden door and enter while talking to the person giving support outside. You get inside and now you are ready to go (relieve yourself) and damn there it is... the seat is wet with urine... yuk! Now you have to think quickly (the latrine seat was made of wood back then, not porcelain OK). The paper used was the local Gazette (newspaper) not Charmin or Scott toilet paper. Now that we have that gruesome picture in our head let's continue with the episode. So now you have to act quickly... you take as much paper as you can (yesterday's daily mirror or Trinidad Guardian) and put layers to sit on... lots of tearing taking place to properly line the box seat. Finally, you are satisfied and sit to get to the finish line, and then this...
I had to pause and get to the next paragraph... something ran across your behind! Oh lord no this can't be happening at such a crucial time. The smell, the roaches and now you are cold sweating as you finally scream out cause a chaotic situation in the backyard. This has turned out to be a very messy situation indeed; did you clean before running out... hell no! As you run out with your pants at your feet you finally trip and fall and as you fall the one thing you did not want to happen becomes a reality... Poong na na, ribbit, and there before your eyes are the biggest Crapo you have ever seen and he is staring you in the eyes. The screaming and you are running and your companion is also running behind you with the flambeaux or torchlight left behind. The commotion you caused had your mother, father, tanty, sisters, and brother including your nani, nana, uncle, grandmother and grandfather, and your deceased ancestors coming to see what 'de hell going on with the chile'.
First things first after they got you calm someone remarked... "What de hell is that smell?"
"Lord Mammy look he has mud in his butt! Take him to the bathroom and wash his butt!"
Here we go again... the bathroom is located outside and there is no hot water just good ole cold Trinidad tap water... that is another story!