As only Sprangalang would say, "oh gorm like something dead living here or what". Yes my friend I know "dead and living" does not make any sense correct. But hold on now if you consider West Indian farts and pooms, "something dead could really be living dey and could be the difference between a fart and a poom.
Now there are farts of varying degrees but a cartoon death could result from a classic 'slippery when wet' poom. Everyone farts and only the highly sulphuric diets results in the room clearing poom. When someone rips one don't be scared just steups and tell dem manners maketh man but in this case the individual exhibited no 'broughtupsy'. However this is not to be feared, it is the silent ones who defy logic. Look and listen carefully and most of the time it is the person who exclaims, "nah nah nah dat eh right go and take ah purge man" could very well be the culprit. Then again you could be travelling in a taxi into Port of Spain and the silent wind of death emanates fouling the air. Someone exclaims, "somebody needs ah purge in here". More that likely that person is crying out for help. In this case give him the number for the Took-ah-looks man for some herbal cleansers eh. Now let's take a look at what really causes an individual to fart.
The Genesis of the Fart:
Just remember that humans are all the same so the same goes for the genesis of all farts. Oh and by the way the cute ones do it just the same as the not so good looking (the eyes of the beholder eh). Well apparently the air we swallow from the foods we eat, gas seeping into our intestines from the blood, bacterial activity and chemical reactions in our intestines are the main agents for the production of gas and the inevitable fart. The composition of the fart gas can be highly toxic. Just be aware that most of the gas reaching the large intestine is nitrogen (hmm just think of Hiroshima...oh gosh I know).
So what makes ordinary gas on its way to be expelled from the body as a fart become the classic poom. It is the sulphur contents my friend. Now if you continually eat foods that are a rich source of sulfur then you will be a carrier of endless pooms (the ones that stifle people) - yes your silent fart aka a poom will stink! You know beans have a bad reputation when it comes to farts but they simply create a lot of noise on the way out. However, foods like cauliflower, eggs and meat and well known agents in the creation of pooms - so buyer beware and guys stick to vegetarian ladies eh.
The silent and very deadly farts are classified as wet farts and are created by bacterial activity in the intestines. In this case the rip is not heard but the pungent swell of that silent assassin with surely wake the dead. Take the advice of those who know and eat live active cultured yogurt to inject "good bacteria" into your stomach and ensure that you get enough roughage to enable a solid and workable push when seated on the throne.
So let's hope that we have a ripping laugh the next time the bubbles of gas emerge to let us know that we are alive. Eat well and limit the sulphuric food, exercise and take your probiotics and life will be a breeze.
